Gavin decides he needs to go "pee pee" while I am on a heavy diaper changing rotation. I strip him of his diaper and let him do his thing while I change Jane and Anne. When he comes back he informs me that "da cow fell in da toilet." Urgh! Kenneth just fixed our toilet when a dinosaur wanted to take a swim. I check out the bathroom and am relieved to find the toilet clear of cows and flushing as it should. I put a diaper on him and get him ready to go play at Ella's house. As an after thought I grab his pacifier cause 1. He is only supposed to get one at bed time and nap time, and 2. He has chosen one that has a pink pony attached to the end. As I grab it, it squishes moistly in my hand...oh please no...please no...
Me: "Um Gavin..." (holding up the pacifier) "What is this?"
Gavin: "Da Cow! It fell in da toilet!"
Keep in mind that I pulled that pacifier out of his MOUTH. P-Uke. That particular pacifier is no longer with our family. Am I a bad mom if I never kiss my kids...it just seems safer...
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I am on the floor flirting up a storm with Anne(currently my most non disgusting child) Atticus walks by and I catch a wiff of the funk. I grab him to change his diaper and my hand loses traction and slides all the way down to his ankle. It is then that I notice the pale yellow/green poop all over his shorts and smeared down both of his legs. I get a better grip and hoist him up by his ankle and haul him straight to the bathtub where I set him down (gently) headfirst. Jane gets extremely upset that I don't let her take a bath with him.
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Jane's new thing when I am feeding her is to choke on a bite(no matter how small...seriously I have been making the bites smaller and smaller trying to combat this problem...much smaller and I am going to be feeding her with a microscope) and gag to the point that she throws up. All over herself. Sometimes she tries to shoot it at me. (She doesn't do this at every meal, otherwise we would be seeing a doctor about it...This new trick usually manages to surface when we are eating foods that she is not fond of)
Are my children more disgusting than the average child? Or are they just better at quadruple teaming me....
5 comments:
I have been thinking of you this week. For several days Abigail has had three poopy diapers a day. I keep thinking about that times four! You will have a special place in Heaven that the rest of us have to earn some other way! You are an awesome mom, Meg, and what a blessing that Anne is so perfect! The Lord knows what we need! Your kids are just simply adorable! Love ya!
Thanks for the smile... just remember you are writing the rough draft to a best seller book that will make you a gazillionaire! Ariah gags a lot too... I am going to have to pay better attention to see if there is a correlation with what we are eating?
LOL. I actually love poop stories. Nothing is funnier than poop... unless, of course, you have to clean it up. Then, its only funny to everyone else.
Call me crazy Meg, but you make me want to have a bigger family! :)
I think yours are more disgusting than the average....playing! I seriously can't even imagine. My poor mother had 7 of us. Her life was probably a little similar to yours. She had the first four boom bam pow. Crazy!
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