poop post

I am making dinner. Rice in the rice cooker, food cooking away on the stove. I turn to the sink to wash the kids plates. 2 plates cleaned, and 15 seconds later I turn back to the counter and the 3 youngest heathens have the rice jar on the floor taking turns(how sweet!) sticking their hands in and pulling out handfuls to dump on the floor. I shoo them all out of the kitchen and grab the broom, sweep it up and turn to the trash can to dump the mess. As I dump the rice in the can I hear ***SPLAT** "uh oh, MOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYY!" and turn to see that Annie has unscrewed the lid on my water bottle and dumped it all over the floor, I see Gavin run past at the same time laughing like a maniac and waving Jane's special blanket over his head, Jane is right behind him and screaming in a pitch that would kill a dog. I yell at Gavin to give the blanket back and run down the hall to grab a towel. I get the towel and start mopping up the kitchen when someone yells, "Annie NAKED!"(sends chills through my heart, will explain in a minute) leave the towel on the floor and run to the front room that Annie has her diaper half off, Gavin is on the couch taunting Jane with her blanket, and Atticus is bouncing like a mad man on all of the furniture. In a moment I can see two possible futures stretching out before me, one of which involves me as a sad story on the news and eventually a life time in prison...I choose the next option which involves me screaming at the top of my lungs, "GET IN YOUR ROOM NOW! EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!" I herd them all down the hall and lock the door behind them yelling that they can get out when their daddy is home from work. end scene.

The Diaper Chronicles:

Annie has been in a clothing optional frame of mind. I find her sans clothes and diapers at odd times(Kenneth came home from a hardware store run to find her running around the back yard in her birthday suit....in my defense we were ALL supposed to be taking a nap). A couple of nights ago the 3 youngest went to bed and had been merrily playing for about 30 minutes when I heard a little voice squeak "help me!" As I enter their darkened room I notice 3 things, 1. they've shoved their mattresses on the floor, 2. they have all removed their clothes. 3. it smells like pooped. Jane and Atticus at least are still in their diapers, so of course when I ask "who pooped" the answer is "Annie did!" yuck yuck yuck. Kenneth cleans up the room, I clean up the delinquent...and then duct taped her diaper on(and make a mental note to always tape her diaper on before bed). Next night, same time. I hear a scream at the door and go to open it. In the instant before I take in the scene I remember note from the night before, but alas to late, there is Annie crying at the door sans diaper. Sniff the air, yep apparently that is part of her nightly routine too. This time she has the foresight to remove her diaper before she poops....which actually makes a much bigger mess. Oy vey. I don't forget the tape anymore.

Did I mention we have company coming over this morning? The house is a mess and the kids are being demanding and doing things like pooping in the bathtub(thanks Jane) savaging library books, demanding 4 different things at once and all around driving me bonkers. So instead of cleaning, I've locked them outside(with popsicles so they won't yell) and am blogging...because someday I know I will laugh about this....

But the next person who tells me to enjoy this moment because they "grow up so fast, " might not survive the conversation!

progress through chaos

You know when you decide to reorganize a room. In the beginning there is a lot of pulling things out and moving things around, and somewhere in the middle you look around and it looks like a bomb went off. Utter chaos. And slowly from that chaos the organization emerges. That is my life right now. I feel like I have been gradually making changes in my life that will in the long run mean a better more organized life...but for now, we are still in the chaotic stage.

For one, I am trying to cook for my family more, and cook more healthy food. This is a big step for me, and I am doing great at it 2 days at a time. Day three I don't feel like making bread again, Day 4 I am still burned out, and Day 5 Kenneth asks me if I am trying to starve the family(since I am trying not to buy things that I can make =). At some point I get enough energy to make enough bread and granola bars to get us thru a few days.

For two, I am trying to exercise on a regular basis. 4 kids in 3 years was not kind to my body, and I am at the point that I would love to not need a seatbelt extender when I fly to Utah in August(yeah it is THAT bad, embarrassing I know... or at least I needed one a year ago a.k.a. the last time I flew...I have been exercising on a semi regular basis since January And I am signed up for a half marathon in July that I am training for, so who knows, it might be an achievable goal.)

For three, I am trying to cut down on the number of movies my kids watch in a given day/week/month. I do this at serious risk for my sanity, but it is a lot like the cooking we have our good days and we have our relapse days while I build up the courage to try again.

I am also trying to keep my house clean enough that when the sugar ants invade that I don't secretly feel like I deserve them, I am trying to wash clothes often enough that we never run out of towels, I am trying have meaningful spiritual enlightenment on a daily basis, I am trying to have weekly family home evening that is more that watching a movie and eating cookies, I am trying to have meaningful interaction with each child at least once a day, I am trying not to yell(ha ha), I am trying to figure out where the pee smell is coming from....I am trying.

So chaos is a frequent visitor at our house, dare I say an hourly visitor? I think that would be an accurate description.

More to say, but I have kids hanging on my ankles and yelling profanity(well not actual profanity, but there is a tone of voice that makes anything said in it sound like a sailor).

some old notes never posted.

Twins in the kitchen. The door of the freezer is open, Atticus is standing on the floor directing the operation, Jane is standing in a pulled out drawer about halfway up the cabinet.

Atticus: "It's dere, (pointing) wight dere!"
Jane: (stretching on her tip toes) "I can't do it! I can't do it!"


I discovered last night what is my version of hell. To be tied down, completely unable to move and have someone who has brushed their teeth in a while lick my face or breath on my neck. It gives the willies just thinking about it. Kenneth and the kids ganged up on me last night. It was a BAD. IDEA.

odds and ends...

I think part of the reason this conversation is so cute to me is the very fact that I can have a conversation with Atticus...my babies are growing up!

Atticus: "Mommy, wats dat?"
Me: "That's my belly button."
A: "Yo belly buddon?"
Me: "Yep."
lifting his shirt and pointing
A: "Wook mommy. Dere's my belly buddon. Wat Dat momma...dat yo boddum?"
Me: "Yes, that's my bottom now get out of the bathroom so I can finish getting dressed!"

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We did a fit test this morning in at my class and these were my results:

20 modified pullups
63 crunches in 2 mins.
37 modified pushups in 2 mins
lasted 1min. 30 seconds for the 2 min. plank
3 miles in 37mins and 50 seconds(a new personal best, wheeee!)

I have signed up for a half marathon in July, and my goal by then is to be able to do real pushup and pullups! Yea Me!

enlightening conversation...

Gavin: "We help Jesus when we choose the right!"
Me: "That's right honey." I am thinking, 'what a smart kid! He surprises me everyday with the things he is absorbing!'
Gavin: Holding up his hand and waving it around, "Is this(indicating his hand) the right?"
Me: "Oh. Well yeah, that is your right hand."

Lullaby

I warn you. If you are looking for spectacular musical ability then you probably don't want to listen to this. Lately we have been letting Gavin stay up a little later that the other kids. It makes him feel so big, and so he has been helping us put the other kids to bed. He helps us tuck them in and even helps sing our lullaby, "Angel Lullaby." It gets a little better towards the middle. Grandma's Barry and Ross this is for you:




Tonight before bedtime the kids were running around like crazies, crashing into each other and laughing hysterically. At one point I looked over to see Atticus laying on top of Anne's head. "Atticus," I snapped, "get off of her head!" Gavin pipes up, "But Mommy, we are da lions and she's da zebra." I then notice that Gavin is indeed laying on her legs and has her foot in his mouth. Anne was remarkably complacent during the whole affair, happy I think, just to be included.

I love love love LOVE my kids...no really, I do!

Yesterday was a fun day. There are major diaper failures on the girls and boys beds the night before. Which makes us stuck at home while I try to get the bedding washed and dried by nap time. As I am putting the last sheet and blanket back into place I realize that Annie has fallen asleep on my bed. Shoot. Oh well. I decide to make lunch before attempting a nap with the others. When I go to pry the kids out of their cartoon lair...aka my room, Atticus is laying, on my bed, in a huge puddle of urine. HUGE. "Oh well," I think, "at least it is on Kenneth's side." cue karma. 30 minutes later Annie wakes up in a huge puddle of urine AND poop....on my side of the bed. Joy. Did I mention that I have just gotten all of their bedding back on their beds? Now on to the king size mess. I think I can have the comforter dried before my bedtime. Maybe. If I hurry. Kids!

This morning Gavin comes up behind me and says, "Mommy, you have a race track bottom."
Me: "What does that mean?"
Gavin: "That you really really look like a hippopotamus!"

And we were excited when he started talking!?!

I really really really love my kids....no really, I do!