snakes and casual profanity

J- "Mom! Look what I did! I made my letters snakes!"

Me- "*Snort* Why yes you did darling."

J- "Look, I wrote my name with snakes..J-A-N-E. See their heads!"

Me- "That is so great honey, I can tell you worked really hard! *Ahem* what is that you wrote at the bottom?"

J - "I don't know, it's just letters....A-S-S-.......oh yeah, and dat's a T! What does that spell momma?"

Me- "*Giggle* It spells go show your daddy what a great job you did making your letters into snakes, and then bring me that paper to put in your special box."

Experiment

Not sure how I feel about this...this blogging thing. There has been a time in my life when it was my lifeline. My connection with the outside world. One of the few things helping me cling to sanity. Then there came a time when it was too much. Too exposed. Too personal. Too many people that could see into my life. That is when I closed up shop. I pulled out of blogging, and cut way back on other social networking sites. It has been a year and a half since that time. I look back at the person I was then, and am amazed at the amount of pain I was in. I didn't realize how depressed I was. Even now thinking about it too much and I verge on a panic attack. Thankfully, I am not that person anymore, and my life is not in the same place. My kids are all toilet trained for one. All of my kids are in some form of school this year...3 of them are gone M-F from 6:40am to 3:15pm. I don't feel like I am drowning. I can do things with my children, and it doesn't feel like the bulk of my time is spent from keeping someone from accidentally killing themselves(cutting their sister's hair yes,*cough*cough*Annie*, but nothing life threatening) Anyway, it feels like time to try again. To reach out and connect. No promises! There is still a raw and tender part of my soul that flinches at the thought.... but here's to giving it a shot!

running and talking

I went on a run tonight with Gavin. I did a mile circuit with him and then ran 2 more by myself. The first part of the run he would dart ahead and run back, he was so excited to be doing it with me. About half way through he started to get tired and so he slowed down and went my pace. The beauty of this for him was that he had my undivided attention and talked non stop. He told me the story of the 3 Billy Goats Gruff(a book we checked out from the library) and how all the goats were named Gavin(in the story they were all named Gruff and he thought that was funny). Then he gave me a blow by blow account of how scrap yards work. We checked out a "Mighty Machines" dvd from redbox a couple of weeks ago, and I am amazed at how much he has retained from the one time he saw it. I think he quoted some parts of it word for word to me. He is so engaged with the world around him. It was so much fun getting to spend that time with him and just listen. It was a peaceful moment to end the chaotic day. Thanks Gavin!

poop post

I am making dinner. Rice in the rice cooker, food cooking away on the stove. I turn to the sink to wash the kids plates. 2 plates cleaned, and 15 seconds later I turn back to the counter and the 3 youngest heathens have the rice jar on the floor taking turns(how sweet!) sticking their hands in and pulling out handfuls to dump on the floor. I shoo them all out of the kitchen and grab the broom, sweep it up and turn to the trash can to dump the mess. As I dump the rice in the can I hear ***SPLAT** "uh oh, MOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYY!" and turn to see that Annie has unscrewed the lid on my water bottle and dumped it all over the floor, I see Gavin run past at the same time laughing like a maniac and waving Jane's special blanket over his head, Jane is right behind him and screaming in a pitch that would kill a dog. I yell at Gavin to give the blanket back and run down the hall to grab a towel. I get the towel and start mopping up the kitchen when someone yells, "Annie NAKED!"(sends chills through my heart, will explain in a minute) leave the towel on the floor and run to the front room that Annie has her diaper half off, Gavin is on the couch taunting Jane with her blanket, and Atticus is bouncing like a mad man on all of the furniture. In a moment I can see two possible futures stretching out before me, one of which involves me as a sad story on the news and eventually a life time in prison...I choose the next option which involves me screaming at the top of my lungs, "GET IN YOUR ROOM NOW! EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!" I herd them all down the hall and lock the door behind them yelling that they can get out when their daddy is home from work. end scene.

The Diaper Chronicles:

Annie has been in a clothing optional frame of mind. I find her sans clothes and diapers at odd times(Kenneth came home from a hardware store run to find her running around the back yard in her birthday suit....in my defense we were ALL supposed to be taking a nap). A couple of nights ago the 3 youngest went to bed and had been merrily playing for about 30 minutes when I heard a little voice squeak "help me!" As I enter their darkened room I notice 3 things, 1. they've shoved their mattresses on the floor, 2. they have all removed their clothes. 3. it smells like pooped. Jane and Atticus at least are still in their diapers, so of course when I ask "who pooped" the answer is "Annie did!" yuck yuck yuck. Kenneth cleans up the room, I clean up the delinquent...and then duct taped her diaper on(and make a mental note to always tape her diaper on before bed). Next night, same time. I hear a scream at the door and go to open it. In the instant before I take in the scene I remember note from the night before, but alas to late, there is Annie crying at the door sans diaper. Sniff the air, yep apparently that is part of her nightly routine too. This time she has the foresight to remove her diaper before she poops....which actually makes a much bigger mess. Oy vey. I don't forget the tape anymore.

Did I mention we have company coming over this morning? The house is a mess and the kids are being demanding and doing things like pooping in the bathtub(thanks Jane) savaging library books, demanding 4 different things at once and all around driving me bonkers. So instead of cleaning, I've locked them outside(with popsicles so they won't yell) and am blogging...because someday I know I will laugh about this....

But the next person who tells me to enjoy this moment because they "grow up so fast, " might not survive the conversation!

progress through chaos

You know when you decide to reorganize a room. In the beginning there is a lot of pulling things out and moving things around, and somewhere in the middle you look around and it looks like a bomb went off. Utter chaos. And slowly from that chaos the organization emerges. That is my life right now. I feel like I have been gradually making changes in my life that will in the long run mean a better more organized life...but for now, we are still in the chaotic stage.

For one, I am trying to cook for my family more, and cook more healthy food. This is a big step for me, and I am doing great at it 2 days at a time. Day three I don't feel like making bread again, Day 4 I am still burned out, and Day 5 Kenneth asks me if I am trying to starve the family(since I am trying not to buy things that I can make =). At some point I get enough energy to make enough bread and granola bars to get us thru a few days.

For two, I am trying to exercise on a regular basis. 4 kids in 3 years was not kind to my body, and I am at the point that I would love to not need a seatbelt extender when I fly to Utah in August(yeah it is THAT bad, embarrassing I know... or at least I needed one a year ago a.k.a. the last time I flew...I have been exercising on a semi regular basis since January And I am signed up for a half marathon in July that I am training for, so who knows, it might be an achievable goal.)

For three, I am trying to cut down on the number of movies my kids watch in a given day/week/month. I do this at serious risk for my sanity, but it is a lot like the cooking we have our good days and we have our relapse days while I build up the courage to try again.

I am also trying to keep my house clean enough that when the sugar ants invade that I don't secretly feel like I deserve them, I am trying to wash clothes often enough that we never run out of towels, I am trying have meaningful spiritual enlightenment on a daily basis, I am trying to have weekly family home evening that is more that watching a movie and eating cookies, I am trying to have meaningful interaction with each child at least once a day, I am trying not to yell(ha ha), I am trying to figure out where the pee smell is coming from....I am trying.

So chaos is a frequent visitor at our house, dare I say an hourly visitor? I think that would be an accurate description.

More to say, but I have kids hanging on my ankles and yelling profanity(well not actual profanity, but there is a tone of voice that makes anything said in it sound like a sailor).

some old notes never posted.

Twins in the kitchen. The door of the freezer is open, Atticus is standing on the floor directing the operation, Jane is standing in a pulled out drawer about halfway up the cabinet.

Atticus: "It's dere, (pointing) wight dere!"
Jane: (stretching on her tip toes) "I can't do it! I can't do it!"


I discovered last night what is my version of hell. To be tied down, completely unable to move and have someone who has brushed their teeth in a while lick my face or breath on my neck. It gives the willies just thinking about it. Kenneth and the kids ganged up on me last night. It was a BAD. IDEA.

odds and ends...

I think part of the reason this conversation is so cute to me is the very fact that I can have a conversation with Atticus...my babies are growing up!

Atticus: "Mommy, wats dat?"
Me: "That's my belly button."
A: "Yo belly buddon?"
Me: "Yep."
lifting his shirt and pointing
A: "Wook mommy. Dere's my belly buddon. Wat Dat momma...dat yo boddum?"
Me: "Yes, that's my bottom now get out of the bathroom so I can finish getting dressed!"

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We did a fit test this morning in at my class and these were my results:

20 modified pullups
63 crunches in 2 mins.
37 modified pushups in 2 mins
lasted 1min. 30 seconds for the 2 min. plank
3 miles in 37mins and 50 seconds(a new personal best, wheeee!)

I have signed up for a half marathon in July, and my goal by then is to be able to do real pushup and pullups! Yea Me!